The Villain's Moon
by Golden Bearded Dragon
Summary: Luna somehow found herself in the DC universe. Now she has to ward off assassination attempts by Harley Quinn, while being completely oblivious to Joker's feelings. Somewhat a drabble-fic. AU. Utter crack.
1. Pro-log (I know how to spell it)

_**I don't own bananas, but I do have partial claim to the thoughts implanted into my brain via Wrackspurts.**_

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When life gives you lemons… slice them up and throw them in the face of life, because honestly that is literally the worst gift ever. And that's exactly what Luna Lovegood did.

Now, imagine you're just walking through the Department of Mysteries doing your job as an unspeakable for the ministry, having fun weirding people out with your odd words. When suddenly, you get sucked through a dang portal, and then you get tossed out like a pile of rubbish in a dreary old city in another dimension. So imagine how frustrated Luna was with this situation, and being someplace completely foreign to her world.

She was so frustrated that she kicked a rock. The stupid, painful rock bounced through the air and cracked into the skull of a man passing by, knocking him flat on his face on the ground with a loud _thunk._

Luna thought about just whistling and walking away quickly, but then the man hopped up as if nothing had ever happened and tipped his hat in her direction. Luna just stared. The strange, smiling man calmly walked toward Luna happily, like she hadn't just almost smashed his skull in.

"Why, hello there, miss. People call me the Joker. Would you like to get a cup of tea?"


	2. UNO, but not the game

_**Do any of us truly own even our very existence? I don't own this, I made it up one day with my sister mathgirl92 while we were in the car driving home from youth group. And I just rolled with it. ;)**_

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Joker had decided to take a walk, and just think about how his life was going. How annoying Harley Quinn was, what to have for dinner, and plain old planning on what he could do to drive Batman insane.

Then out of nowhere, he got clobbered by a rock of all things. Honestly, people have tried to kill him with way more original weapons, in _very_ creative ways. But never with a _pebble._ Was his new attempted murderer seriously underestimating The Joker that much?

When he got up he saw the most marvelous sight. There was a beautiful pale-blond woman staring at him blankly, and he could tell there was something odd about her, so he did the best thing he could think of; he invited her to tea. 'Cause she looked British, and Brits practically worship the stuff.

They even have a set time in the day to drink tea, and everyone knows that's what started that war between America and Britain. The American colonies were really inconsiderate and wasteful when they dumped all that tea into the ocean. No wonder the Brits were mad, that must've been like the equivalent of throwing the Pope's hat into the sewer.

But the Joker was getting sidetracked. He and the aloof blonde were sitting in a café, he was drinking hot chocolate while she got some awful smelling crap called Earl Grey. The ever-smiling villain decided to question the glazed eyed woman.

"So… you like that tea?" He said, in what he thought was a smooth voice, and poked at the marshmallows in his drink. The blonde stared hard at the mug in her hand.

"Not in the least bit. Tastes like soap." The Joker grinned impossibly wider at that comment.

"Then why'd you get it? Oh, let me guess, you're planning on using it to poison the city's water system. No, the world's!" Insane cackles filled the café, making the cashier by the counter cower in fear even more than the poor man already was.

"Nope."

"Why not? It would be something fun to do at least, and I could even introduce you to the Bat! He's a fun guy. Always makes time in his very busy schedule to see me."

"Because there's no point. Especially if I ranted about how I was to go about killing everyone. The hero would know my plan, and then stop me. Not that I would use poison to take over the world, that would infringe upon the Nargle's claim. Waffles would be the way I would do it." She then nodded to herself and sipped her tea.

The Joker meanwhile, was gaping at the blonde in awe. She had just revealed to him the flaws of all his brilliant schemes. Could this be love?

A giant crash from the entrance disturbed him from his one-sided staring contest. And in walked the Joker's number one stalker; Harley Quinn. And she looked absolutely furious.


	3. Eye-Eye, Roman Numerals

I don't own nothing I swear! *gun points at me* Nooo! It's the truth, honest! I swear on the waffles- *bang* **Yup, enjoy the story. *laughs evilly***

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Luna thought the man across from her very strange, and she wondered if everyone in this dimension was this different. She hoped that was not the case, because that would make her normal here, and that would be boring.

What's not boring is the angry woman currently glaring at her, but Luna doesn't have the faintest idea why. Maybe she has something on her face? So Luna pulls out her wand, and summons a mirror.

"What are you doing?!" The checkered woman with pigtails exclaimed, her glare changed to a disbelieving expression. Luna turned towards her calmly.

"I'm checking to see if there's something on my face that's offending you. Obviously." Luna still doesn't know the name of the twitching woman in front her, so she'll just refer to her as Angry Badger. There, that solves it.

"I meant what's that!" She pointed crazily at Luna's wand, "and who _are_ you anyway?" Angry Badger narrowed her eyes at the blond. Luna tapped the stick against her lip in thought. Oh well, she's in another dimension, the Statute of Secrecy might as well go die in a hole.

"This is my wand, and my name is Luna Lovegood. I'm a witch just recently transported from another dimensional plane. Nice to meet you." Luna said with a smile, her eyes slightly unfocused.


	4. Chappie III

**I hope you enjoy this, it is all mine, my own, my preciou-** No! We don't own this! Think of the lawsuits-URK! ***removes knife* Honestly, just die already, this isn't Marvel where their characters never stay dead.**

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The Joker knew there was something special about her, and now he is sure about it. A witch, never had he thought something so wonderful could exist. The villain made up his mind, this chance was just too good to pass up. The Joker bent down on one knee, "Luna, we just met, and this crazy, so please join me in taking over the city, maybe?"

He looked up to see the blonde turned away from him. Luna looked up from the random rock in her hand. "Oh, I'm sorry. Did you say something? I was just admiring this amazing specimen."

"That's just a rock! Gosh, you are so stupid…" Harley Quinn said exasperated. Luna raised an eyebrow.

"I'm guessing you've never had a pet rock then, huh, Angry Badger? Shame. They make much better pets than avocados, and smell fresh for longer too." Luna smiled dazedly, losing focus in her surroundings. Harley took this as a chance to attack the oddball.

Before The Joker could do anything to stop it, Quinn had already swung her large, wooden mallet at the blonde. Luna calmly lifted her wand and shot a levitation spell at the hammer, stopping the weapon right in front of her face. She peered at it intently. "What a strange choice, and it makes no logical sense that you can even lift this thing."

"Stop criticizing fiction!" Harley yelled, shaking her fist at the blonde.

"I'll do that right after you admit to breaking the fourth wall." Luna smiled a little _too_ cheerfully at Quinn.

"Wha? I break a lot of walls! You're just so… so insane! Like, _really_ insane. Completely bonkers, off your rocker, _insane."_ Harley actually looked concerned.

Just then The Joker decided it was time to scram when he heard the police sirens, -the cashier must have called them- not that he wouldn't love to stay and play with the cute, little policeman. It's just that he'd rather like to be the one to introduce Luna to this fun world. And attracting Batman wouldn't be ideal for that right now. "Alright, ladies! Let's go chat in my lair!"


	5. FOR

**Everything I do is legal, so this is my property-** Murder isn't legal! ***glares* Fine, since I can't find a way to kill you right now... I don't own this. For now.** Is that some kind of death threat- **Nope! *smiles innocently*Enjoy this if you want to live.**

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The main characters were sat at a tall table in the Joker's colorful lair. While Harley Quinn was rummaging around in the kitchen doing… something. The Joker was smiling dreamily at the blonde across from him, and Luna was staring off into space.

Finally Harley seemed to find what she was looking for, and walked out of the kitchen with a _very_ wide smile. She stopped right in front of Luna, and held out a mug. "You like tea, right? So I made you some delicious boiled leaf juice, enjoy!" Quinn smiled innocently and sat the cup in front of the weirdo that somehow captured the attention of Harley's crush.

Luna stared into the cup in wide eyed fascination. Then she picked it up gingerly in her hands, and held it up to the sky -or neon orange ceiling- in wonder. "This magical drink is a breeding ground for Wrackspurts! I must put this somewhere they will not be disturbed."

She then proceeded to drop the mug into the nearest trash can. "Wrackspurts like the dark." Luna said in answer to the stares as she sat back down. The Joker clapped merrily at this. This truly amazing woman had just the right amount of insanity.

Harley's eye twitched, she was _so close_ to getting rid of her rival. This idiot blonde must be either really smart, or completely bat crap crazy. Both are equally dangerous in their own right. Quinn decided to think more on her nefarious plans. Luna needed to go, The Joker was _hers._


	6. Robin Robbed The Fifth

Herrree's Baatman. And Robin, if anyone cares. **I don't own this, but if I did, I would give all my money to charity. Because the children, and peace. *eats more paint chips***

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Batman was in his Batcave doing bat related things when an alert from his high tech computer disrupted his activity. When Bruce walked over he stared blankly at the screen. There he saw footage from earlier in the day shot by a security camera.

"That's just not right." Wayne's mumblings alerted his colorful sidekick.

"What's not right, sensei?" Robin asked. Bruce groaned at the boy's phrasing, why did he ever think taking on an apprentice was a good idea?

"It appears Arkham has really let their standards drop-"

"That would mean they actually _had_ standards at one point." Robin snickered, but quieted at Batman's glare.

"As I was saying, Joker has escaped from the asylum for the tenth-"

"Sixteenth."

"- _sixteenth_ time this month… anyways, I just saw him on tape, and he looked like he was on a date." Bruce finished solemnly. Robin couldn't help it, he burst out laughing.

"T-the _Joker_ , on a _date?!_ This has got to be a prank. Unless it's with Harley Quinn, but she's always been a bit… fanatical. So I really can't see them together." The teen in the bright suit stifled his cackles as he walked over to the supercomputer.

"I've managed to find out that this mysterious woman uses some kind of telekinesis through a focus made from a stick of wood."

"You mean like a witch with a wand?" Robin said as he rolled his eyes.

"..."

"Seriously, you can tell what they're saying by lipreading, it's not that hard." The teen waved his hand at the computer, and Bruce's eyes widened at the new information.

"Holy cow, Robin!" The man exclaimed.

"Hey! That's my line!"

Bruce Wayne ignored his sidekick, he had more important things to worry about. Like a dimension-traveling magic blond with questionable morals. "This is going to be a long night." He sighed.


	7. VI: Alas, Rottweiler-man

I was extremely sleep deprived when I wrote this. **You must have been the same when you wrote all the other chapters.** Shut up. **I don't own this and neither does my uncool ulter ego.** What?!

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Luna was feeling totally at home, maybe this universe wasn't so bad. She feels like she could fit in here, there was just one thing missing…

 _ **Crash.**_

Oh, there it is. Luna and the Joker turn their heads around and see a man wearing a long black cape with a strange, eared mask. The blonde thought he looked like some kind of demented rottweiler with the pointy ears.

"Who are you and what are you doing in Gotham?" The rottweiler-man asked in a stupidly deep voice. Luna wondered if he ever hurt his throat when he spoke like that. Just thinking about it made her want to drink some tea with honey in it.

"I'm Luna, nice to meet you." She got up from the table and held out her hand. The caped man just stared at her suspiciously. Luna dropped her hand and smiled widely. "You must have some serious trust issues, let me guess, your parents were murdered when you were a kid?" She saw his eyes narrow behind his mask. Bingo.

"It's okay, I'm sure they're very happy where they are now. But I'm not sure that they would really approve of their son frollicking around in a very trippable cape, and taking down bad guys left and right while simultaneously nearly dying from potentially fatal injuries." Luna raised her eyebrows at him as she said this.

"...I can do what I want."

"Nope. Now go home and rethink your life and your fashion style." She made a shooing gesture with her hand in his direction.

Batman left with a swish of his flowing cape, he decided to get back to this when life made more sense. He could hear Joker's manical laughter behind him as he fled back through the broken window he'd come in through.

"That was the single most amazing thing I'd ever seen in my entire life!" The Joker grinned at the hilarious blonde. She turned around and shook her head sadly.

"Then you've never known the wonders of watching athletes fly hundreds of feet in the air on flimsy sticks of wood, throwing around, catching, and dodging several different sized balls for the entertainment of the masses."

"Sounds delightfully dangerous." Joker said, his eyes full of wonder.

"Yes, lots of people have died in that extremely popular game. But no one really cared about the deaths, and a lot of times the fans go there hoping to witness some horrific accident." Luna nodded sagely.

"Your world sounds like a very fun place."

"You don't know the half of it." The blonde smiled back happily. Then Harley walked out of the bathroom, took one glance at the glass shards everywhere from the shattered window, and groaned in disappointment.

"Why can't I get a more major role in this story!?"


	8. VII: Lettuce blow crap up, yo

My deepest apologies for taking so long for the next updatation of the absolutely spiffy fictional... Thingy. **Yeah. Life decided to grab us by our ears and force us into slavery!** It was horrible! **Anyways, here's the chapter and I don't own nothin' ya nerds.**

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The Joker was bringing Luna to the next villain's meeting of doom, and he was intending to show off his new powerful ally to all the other inferior bad guys that were going to be there. Harley Quinn had hitched a ride as well, but the ever-smiling man decided not to dwell on the unhappy things in life.

"Where are we going?" The dazed blonde asked with her head tilted off to the side. Joker grinned and answered the lovely witch.

"We are going to go and gloat about our partnership to my group of frenemies. It should prove to be most entertaining." He slouched and glanced briefly at the road while driving with his foot.

"Oh. When will we get there?"

"Soon."

"How soon? Like in five minutes soon?"

"More around fifteen minutes."

Luna sighed softly from her spot in the passenger seat, she was getting bored. Then her glazed eyes caught sight of a very large, very pokable red button. "Hmm, I wonder what this will do..?"

Joker, in a moment of rare, genuine sanity, tried to stop her from pressing the button. "No- wait don't-!"

 _Foom!_

Much too late. He looked on in interest as the small missile screeched through the sky and landed heavily on top of a cabbage cart of all things. Then exploded; leaving bits of leafy green strewn all around the street, and the merchant yelled out in loss over his destroyed produce.

"That was…" The Joker started to say, before Luna interrupted him.

"Awesome! Did you see that? We should do that again!" She smiled in excitement, and the villian admired how that brought out something more to her face. A rare spark of pure madness. He grinned back just as excited. So together, they blew up other various objects as they swerved down the road; cackling all the way.

Harley Quinn tried not to throw up from her seat on the roof of the neon-green painted car. "Why did I have to ride out here?! Those jerks! There was totally plenty of room inside for me too…" She clenched her hand and growled angrily. "I will defeat you, Luna Lovegood, if it's the last thing I-ahh!" She quickly held on to the sides of the roof as the car swerved wildly once again. "I swear you'll be sorry, you ugly witch." Quinn's eye's narrowed in determination; she was going to make that idiot blond pay for stealing what was hers.


	9. Chapter Ate: A Cat's Dilemma

**I'm sorry for the delay, I saw this old, blind lady lose her cat in a forest, so I had decided to help her out. Sadly, she was not really blind and tried to mug me at gunpoint, and that children, is why I was delayed with this story.** _I do not own this..._

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The Joker was having a grand time. He and Luna definitely stood out like a panda in Africa, but that was what he'd been hoping for. Drinking in the looks of envy from the other villains, after he'd revealed the blond's magical powers, he smiled. Well, smiled _wider._

This was what achievement felt like. Though, he could live without Poison Ivy trying to poison his drink. That woman really didn't enjoy being seen as anything other than the most infamous supervillainess the world had ever had the pleasure to meet. And finding out about a witch that had already told off _Batman…_ well, Poison Ivy was not too happy at the moment.

And right then, Luna and the Riddler were in a contest to see who could out-riddle the other. It was like an epic showdown between two insane people that knew they were crazy, and were proud to show it.

Luna appeared to be in the lead, she had answered five riddles, the Riddler only answering four so far. The airy blonde cracked her neck and narrowed her silvery-gray eyes at her slightly cowed opponent. Now it was her turn, and she was determined to win.

" _I have days and months, have moon and tides._

I have twelve but can be counted more than three hundred.

For now, I'm more than two thousand, but every year I am counted as one. What am I?"

She smiled as she finished, showing teeth.

The Riddler thought this new challenge through. He already knew that this was not a riddle with a pun as the answer, and that meant that he would have to use logic to decode it. But logic wasn't his strong suit… so he'd really have to work on this.

"Hmm… can I have more than one guess?" The man in the green suit adorned with question marks asked.

Luna raised an eyebrow at his obvious attempt to stall for more time. "You have three guesses. But if you fail all three…" The Riddler tensed. "...then you have to give me some chocolate." He sighed in relief, glad that he didn't have to sell his soul, or worse, give away his precious question mark-shaped cane.

The Riddler thought over the question for a bit longer before risking one of his three chances. _More than two thousand..._ "Ooh! Is it someone who's immortal?"

"Nope."

"Dangit!"

Catwoman watched the proceedings lazily from her perch on the bartop. This Luna chick seemed pretty capable, and had the added bonus of being able to irritate the Riddler; which was always a good thing, that guy was annoying as the comic relief characters in certain laser-sword sci-fi movies.

The cat-burgling thief was disturbed from her light dozing by Poison Ivy as the redhead stomped over to her and started ranting about how unfair the world was, and how she should just use vines to strangle that crazy blonde chick.

Suddenly, Catwoman heard anguished sobbing from the crowd surrounding Luna and The Riddler. Poison Ivy and the cat-themed villainess turned in time to spot the question marked fool rocking back and forth with his arms wrapped over his knees.

"W-what do you m-mean I didn't get it right…? I'm _The Riddler!_ How could I not know riddles?"

"The answer was: _a calendar._ None of your guesses even came close; especially the one involving throwing tomatoes off a lake, and that one didn't even make _sense_." Luna shook her head in disappointment, clicking her tongue. "I expect to see those chocolates before the end of next week, and none of that cheap crap either! I want the good stuff, and you lost, so you have to pay up."

Catwoman nodded her head in agreement from across the room. Now this was a cool chick. Unfortunately, Poison Ivy didn't appear to agree; if the furious look on the woman's face was anything to go by.

"She think she's so, so… urgh! I'll make her pay, and reclaim my spot as the rightful center of attention at every meeting! I swear I'll do this, if it's the last thing I do!" Poison Ivy glared daggers at the cheerful blonde standing in the middle of the crowd of villains still laughing at the pathetic Riddler.

Catwoman just wondered why, oh _why,_ Poison Ivy insisted on ranting to her of all people. But she didn't have the energy to tell the redhead to bug off. So sadly, she knew right then that her not-quite-friend was going to involve her in a lot of tiring things. _Oh well,_ Catwoman thought, staring into her scotch, _at least there's alcohol._


	10. Niner: Mockingjerks

**What kind of chapter is this?!** _What do you mean?_ **I mean, where's the main character? This sucks buckets, man.** _*cries* I_ _don't_ _own this... *sniffle*_ **I sure hope you don't own this content, ya untalented dingus.** _P-please enjoy the chapter._ ***snorts* Like that would ever happen, people hardly ever review this. *smirks at other half's pain-wracked sobs***

* * *

Harley Quinn was getting increasingly more pissed off by the second. _Her_ Joker was currently wrapping an arm around that stupid, idiotic blonde airhead. Why? Why was she never good enough for her sweetums? Harley just knew that she could do so much more for her love than that Witch could ever even think of! So, why did she feel like she was losing?

There had to be some way that she could beat her rival, there just had to! But how could she do that all alone? She needed allies… and who was that Quinn spotted at the bar, who was practically steaming while she glared heatedly at the blonde amidst the laughing crowd sneering at that fool, Riddler? Why, none other than the decidedly most powerful supervillainess that the world had ever seen. Poison Ivy.

Harley felt as if a luminescent bulb had been fueled by electricity and lighted up with her new idea. _I'm going to team up with Poison Ivy, and we're going to be awesome. The best._

 _And together, we will destroy Luna Lovegood._

* * *

Catwoman had just been staring aimlessly around the room, and had been contemplating abandoning this insane get together, when she noticed something. Or more like, someone. Harley Quinn was smirking while strolling in her direction; or more precisely, Poison Ivy's direction. _And why does that cause me so much unease?_

 _Oh._ Because Harley Quinn was known to be head over heels in love with Joker, and even a person with severely impaired eyesight could see that The Joker seemed to be quite taken with the blonde chick. _And Quinn looks like she's noticed Ivy's dilemma. This could prove to be troublesome._

"Ivy! I have an idea that I _know_ you're going to like!" Harley's impossibly wide grin made Catwoman want to escape into the air ducts.

Poison Ivy quirked an interested eyebrow, and motioned for Quinn to continue.

"You hate Luna Lovegood, correct?" Harley asked jovially. Ivy nodded.

"Well, I hate her too! So how 'bout for the sake of our futures and careers, we join together and take her out with the power of love!" The crazy woman yelled, pumping her fist in the air. "What do ya say, you in?"

Catwoman guessed she was only humoring the psychopath groupie. Because no one in their right mind would _ever_ make a deal with Harley Quinn, the princess of insanity herself. There's just no way she could seriously consider believing anything that came out of that oddball's mouth.

"I accept."

Catwoman gaped at the plant user, not understanding the messed up guidelines that the universe had thrown together like a Picasso painting but was somehow supposed to be seen as logic.

"I also volunteer Selina as our strategist."

Catwoman -aka, Selina Kyle- let herself collapse onto her back on the bar counter. That was… that just sucked. _I have to admit,_ she mused to herself, _I was totally asking for this when I decided to attend this freakshow. I'm just not insane enough to understand these people._ Then she frowned contemplatively, _at least, not_ _yet._


	11. Ten Robins a-leaping

**_Hello, mah peeps._** _But not marshmallow peeps, because then I would eat you, and cannibalism is frowned upon in most societies. **Mmm, marshmallow peeps.** Anyways, here's another chapter of brilliance made up of content that I do not own. **Happy belated Easter!**_

* * *

Luna was greatly enjoying the Lindor Truffles that she insisted Riddler buy her as her prize for besting him in a riddle contest. Chocolate really was the best, she mused as she chewed the expensive, delicious goodness.

Chocolate could even help traumatized children get over the terrifying experience of meeting a Dementor, from what she remembered of her second year of schooling. _Though, I'm sincerely hoping those sweets weren't drugged… because I have already had my own doubts about Dumbledoor's lemon drops._

The only thing chocolate couldn't help with, was well... was anything that had to do with someone who was lactose intolerant. Those poor people… Well, sucks to be them.

Luna smiled to herself as she ate another truffle. Life was good right now.

Suddenly, she heard a sound from the air ducts. Luna frowned, it sounded like someone was crawling inside the thin, metal area above her head. Looking around to see if anyone else had noticed anything, she set about to find whatever mischief maker was attempting to spy on the villain party.

The game was afoot. _Or is the saying 'the game_ is _a foot'? But that wouldn't make any sense… how can a game be a foot? Life isn't made up of appendages. That's just not possible. But then again, my entire life so far has been a series of brutally murdering physics and friendly mushrooms. So therefore, life can be a foot, or a hand, or a butt. No- not a butt. That is too silly,_ Luna thought, humming Ode To Joy under her breath.

Five minutes of strolling around later, and she had arrived at the nearest uninhabited room that contained an opening for the air vents on the ceiling. The blonde could hear that the visitor was was just about to come upon the opening in question, most likely whoever it was that was up there was just planning on moving farther along the tunnel without even bothering with the exit seemingly in an empty room.

 _I'm not letting this person get away. Unless this is just my imagination, and I'm going to wake back up in England and then go out for my morning tea with Harry- nope. This is too unbelievable to be fake._ Luna cracked her knuckles, and pulled out her wand from her arm holster. _Let's do this._

Flicking her magical stick, Luna opened the hatch on the ceiling. And a small person covered in black clothing fell out onto his rear on the ground, groaning and holding his head with his hands. Luna could tell that the kid -who looked to not even be a teenager yet- was not used to wearing black.

She could tell because anyone who would be used to wearing the dark color, would not have mistakenly put on dark blue pants. _He probably just thought the pants were also black, but that's still pretty funny._

The kid finally looked up and noticed her, and Luna raised an eyebrow as he just gaped at her. The boy coughed nervously, before glancing around in mock surprise, and then he looked back at her with a very good fake-innocent tilt of the head and said, "sorry, is this not the Chinese takeaway?"

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 _ **A.N.: Heyo there! I'm sorry I haven't been updating as frequently as I used to, but I've been busy, also because I have no set plot for this story. So if you like this story, please review to brutally murder my writers block!**_

 _ **Also, if you have an idea for a oneshot or something funny for this story, I would love to hear it, and I might even add it and give your name in the author's note as the thinker of the idea!** This is too cheerful, humbug. Goodbye, peeps-but-not-marshmallow-peeps._

 _Oh, and I actually am lactose intolerant, so no offense.\\_(-_-)_/_


	12. Eleven Not-Cliche Stuffs

_**Muhahahha!~ I really wished I owned this, but unfortunately, Batman belongs to other people, not me. Same with Harry Potter.**_ _What's this?! **Who's the new guy?** Are we not humorous enough for the masses? **I AM SPARTA!** Hi! I am [insert backround name here] Nice to meet you! **I like to knock people into wells.** W-well, that's nice... **You know who else like to knock people into wells?** #2, Don't...! **Grant Ward. *Le Gasp***_

* * *

"Not ready, my arse." Robin muttered angrily under his breath, and he shoved his hands into his pockets as he walked out of the Bat Cave in the cover of the evening fading light. Of course it was raining, as it does often in Gotham, almost getting as much rainfall as England.

Robin stopped in his irritated walking, staring morosely into a quickly forming puddle in one of the many potholes littering the street. He didn't even notice the char marks around the pothole's edges, or that the blemish on the asphalt had most definitely not been there the day before.

He was quite upset. And the reason for that was because Bruce Wayne -AKA Batman, if ya ain't in the know- didn't trust him enough to let him go out on patrol alone. Robin just did not understand how Batman couldn't see how strong he was already, and that he wasn't the same weak, dumb kid trying to do what was right.

The boy scoffed and stepped roughly into his reflection on the water's surface as he continued walking down the street, dressed all in black, and with determination in his every step.

Robin smiled softly, knowing that he was going to be in so much trouble later, but he couldn't stay under Bruce's wing forever. Sometimes, a fledgling needs to learn to fly. "And I'm going to soar, just watch me, old man." He slipped into the shadows in a dark alley, unnoticed by anyone.

* * *

 _ **Thirty Minutes To A Half An Hour Later~**_

"-Is this not the Chinese takeaway?" Robin said, plastering on his best innocent smile. The woman in front of him clearly peered right through the act, and raised an amused blond eyebrow at the tween.

This was bad. What if the woman turns him in to the other villains at the strange party-thing? What if- wait.

"You're the witch that came from another dimension…!" Robin winced, he really hadn't meant to say that out loud. Crapturds. Welp, he was more doomed than a firebender who couldn't swim who got stranded in the middle of the ocean. With his hands tied behind his back. And a dozen sharks.

Surprisingly, the blond merely smiled serenely at him. Her eyes slightly glassy as they looked in his general direction. "That is correct. I'm guessing you got that from a street camera?" Robin blinked at her, but before he could confirm -or more likely, deny- her statement, she continued speaking in her strange, slightly unfocused tone of voice. "I'm Luna Lovegood. Pleasure." Luna held out a friendly hand, a hand that didn't even contain a joy buzzer.

"...Robin." The young-boy-but-not-quite-a-teenager introduced himself after a slight hesitation.

He accepted her handshake with no small amount of confusion. That confusion didn't dissipate in the least bit as she smiled and started to walk away with a merry whistle. Robin stared after her retreating form for all of four and a half seconds, before he hurried to walk next to her. Suddenly curious about how different she was acting than any of the other stereotypical super-villains.

Once he caught up to Luna, he started his questions, no longer able to contain his curiosity. "Er, so you're not going to, like, string me up over a tub of acid and hold me for ransom? Or chain a bomb on me and drop me off at a crowded football stadium? Or various other cliché things that villains always do, if only for the sake of repeating well loved classics?"

"Nope." Luna responded cheerfully as she continued to stroll along.

Robin hesitated. He was really starting to doubt the sanity of this lady. And for a second he considered just leaving while he could, but then he remembered what he was here for. Robin was going to show to his mentor that he could take care of himself. And what better way to do that than to find out more about the strange dimension-traveling magic-user?

Shrugging his shoulders, Robin followed her down the hallway, regardless of any consequences. He had never been one to shy away from adventure. And adventure was most definitely one of the things that he'd find while hanging around Luna Lovegood.

* * *

 _ **Oh, Snap!~**_

A group of three women watched from behind a half closed doorway, two smirking at what they had come across, and what they could accomplish with the new information they had just gathered. And the third yawning tiredly, wishing she was back at home, sleeping peacefully.

"Whoop!~ This is definitely going to be fun!" Harley Quinn grinned widely in anticipation. Poison Ivy smirked savagely, plans of ruthless revenge going through her head. It was only a matter of time.

"How about we all just go home and take a nap? Yes, that sounds like a great idea. Let's all do that." Selina Kyle said in a bored tone, idly checking her nails. The other two, more insane members of the trio ignored her inclusion, as usual.

"Whatever. Ignore me, then." She scoffed. Even though Catwoman was a villain, she still cared for Batman, and for Robin. She only hoped that the kid wouldn't get too hurt in the crossfire of the other women's jealousy.

But seriously, it really was about time that that kid went through his rebellious phase. Poor, poor Batman. Teenage angst really was the worst.


	13. Empty Chairs at-Dattebayo!

**_Red!~ The blood of angry men!_** _Black!~ The dark of ages past! ***sigh* Am I the only sane one around here?** **Yes, yes you are.** Indeed. **Well, then I guess that I'll be the one to say, we don't own anything. Sorry for taking so long to update. ** Yeah, and reviews would help. **Shh! Don't pressure them! Review, or suffer my wrath of DOOM!** Muhahahahhaha!~_

* * *

Luna led the small boy along with her down the hallway, humming the tune of _Ode to Joy_ as she walked. Looking down at the boy, Robin, she smiled. Luna thought it was nice to be around a little kid, since she had always planned on having some of her own.

She just hadn't found the right guy yet, and having a husband and a steady home life would be essential to raising any children she might have. Since she was going to leave no chances of her children going insane from growing up in an orphanage or something because she was murdered or died when the child was a baby.

She frowned. _If only there was someone out there that would be a good match for me. Most people are way too sane. If only…_

"So… where are we going?" Robin asked, noticing that she had momentarily spaced out.

Luna blinked. "Oh. Right. Hmm…. We are going… to… uh, a place. Yeah, that's it."

Robin stopped walking and stared at Luna. The black clothed preteen groaned. "Don't tell me that you didn't plan ahead."

Luna turned around, walking backwards, and grinned at the young sidekick. "Okay," Luna answered, or didn't answer. She spun around and started running down the hall, laughing all the way as she ran out of sight behind a corner.

"Wait, hey! Wait up, Miss!" Robin ran quickly as he attempted to catch up to the blonde. _She's so weird. No one I've ever met has acted like her. And I live in Gotham, so that's saying something._

Robin was so distracted by the puzzle that was Luna, that he ran head first into someone's chest. He fell on the ground with a grunt, and gasped as he looked up at the man that he had bumped into. It was none other than the Joker. The baddest of the bad, the most psychologically challenged of all the villains in the entire city. The strangest clown in town.

And Robin had somehow managed to run right into him.

"Uh… Sorry. I wasn't watching where I was going." Robin slightly stuttered, furiously thinking up plans of escape, and discarding them just as furiously.

"Do I know you?" The Joker scratched the side of his head in thought as he peered at the boy.

"N-no. Not at all. We've never met, your face is not a face that I would forget." Robin sighed inwardly, relieved that the villain hadn't recognized him in his black clothing. It was a strange thing that hardly anyone recognized each other when out of uniform, even heroes were that way. Take Clark Kent for example, all he has to do is wear his underwear on the outside, take off his glasses, and curl a little bit of his hair on his forehead and he's like a completely different person.

"I could've sworn that I had seen you somewhere before…" The Joker continued, narrowing his eyes even further, which looked really weird coupled with his ever-present smile. Like some kind of constipated hedgehog.

"...uh. No. Nope. No way. Completely inconceivable. Ausgeschlossen. Inexplicabilis. Etcetera." Robin said, meeting the Joker's dubious stare with an innocent one of his own.

The villain rubbed his chin in thought, thinking over all the possible ways he could have met the suspicious character now standing in front of him. The Joker suddenly snapped his fingers in triumph, startling the boy. "Woodstock reunion! That has to be it!"

"Just how old do you think I am?" Robin deadpanned.

Joker's face fell slightly before promptly brightening up again as he came up with a solution. And just as he took a breath to call out, he was interrupted by a loud sigh from right behind him. "Ah, Luna, speak of the broccoli. I was just going to call you over." He grinned at the blonde, not at all concerned by her sudden appearance that he hadn't noticed in the slightest bit.

"And I came over to see what had been holding up my new little friend here." Luna then turned to frown sternly at a lost looking Robin. "You shouldn't wander off, there are so many dangerous folks out here and I don't want you getting hurt when we had only just met."

"Uh…?" Robin looked between Luna and the villainous Joker, beyond confused.

Luna patted the boy on the head with a warm smile. She turned to the Joker to introduce the kid, when two pairs of feet rushed down the hall, loosely followed by a third pair at a much more relaxed rate.

"Angry Badger!" Luna greeted Harley Quinn, causing the checkered woman's eye to twitch. "And you've made some friends! I'm so happy for you, and I hope you do well in the Chuunin Exams with your teammates!" Luna raced over and excitedly hugged Quinn, making the Joker-fangirl's eyes nearly bulge out of their sockets.

"G-get off! Get off me, you psycho!" Harley yelled, frantically attempting to remove the blonde. She didn't spare any brain cells on the nonsense the witch had just spouted, it would only cause her a headache.

"I'm not a psycho, just a high functioning sociopath." Luna replied cheerfully as she relinquished her hold on the woman.

Poison Ivy smirked savagely as she strolled toward the boy. Pointing a finger at him dramatically, she stated loudly, "this kid is none other than Batman's sidekick, Robin!" Ivy turned to share a quick glance with a smirking Harley. " _And_ Luna is hiding him so he can spy on us, and find out all our secrets!"

Joker blinked in shock and turned to Luna, who was idly staring at the wall. "Luna, is this true?" He questioned.

"Is what true?" She responded, looking away from the wall with a small, red and black spider riding on her finger. The she put her face next to the insect and whispered, "I shall name you Pablo, and we will be friends for a long time, and I'll feed you lots."

"I mean about the claim that the boy you brought is Batman's sidekick and he's here to spy on us." Joker said with a frown. He hoped this wasn't true, because he didn't want to think of his Luna as a traitor.

"Oh, actually that's mostly not true. He's not here to spy on us, or anything. Just to learn awesome stuff from me." Luna smiled proudly.

"That's right! And spying on you people would be too much work, since I'd have to find where your secret bases were first." Robin added in after watching the adults talk for a bit. He wasn't sure how those three found out about who he was, but he was sure Luna could handle it.

"Okay! Now that that's settled, back to the party!" Joker clapped his hands once and turned around to walk back in the direction he had previously come from. Luna, with a nervous Robin at her side, following him down the hall.

Poison Ivy glared at the retreating blonde's back, a small growl forming in the back of her throat. Turning to the laziest one in her trio, she barked out, "Selina, do something!"

The woman that was Catwoman blinked for a moment, and put a hand to her chin in thought. "You know what? I've got just the thing!" Selina smiled as she pulled out her Droid Mini and entered a phone number, the other line picked up instantly and she put the cellphone to her ear.

Poison Ivy and Harley Quinn watched on in anticipation, their thoughts filled with all the ways this could help them get their revenge on Luna. Maybe Catwoman was calling someone who had access to nuclear weapons, or a team of teenage mutant ninja turtles to take their foe out.

"Yes, meat lovers, and don't forget the stuffed crust! Momma loves her stuffed crust. Hmm. Make it large, you can never go wrong with more pizza." Selina Kyle finished her call, and turned to the other two, who were staring at her blankly. "What? Do I have something on my face?" She said in confusion, concealing her smirk.

* * *

 _ **A.N.: You can probably tell that I've been watching too much TMNT, Les Miserable, and that I'm currently on a Naruto fanfic craze.**_

 _ **As always, thank you so much for reading! And if you leave a review with your thoughts on this chapter, I will try to be more frequent in updating this random cheese. Please give me ideas. Momma needs her ideas.**_

 ** _\\_(-_-)_/_**


	14. Darth Mickey Mouse

_**Hello from the other side-** of the inter-webs, I mean. **Sadly, I am not yet whole, but soon, soon I will absorb my alter-egos and become the ultimate- ** procrastinator? **Shut up. I strongly dislike you. The feeling is mutual. ** I wonder if this is what it is like to hate yourself. **Elmo is creepy. That, I am sure we can agree on. ** Concur'd. **I no own the things. I be goodly not illegal.**_

* * *

"Embrace the dark side… we have cookies." Robin stared at Luna. "No seriously, the snacks are fantastic. Especially the internet brownies." Luna stated calmly, trying to persuade her young apprentice. Or not-apprentice, because she didn't want to live by the always-two-there-are rule. Or be killed by said apprentice. Because Dark Side.

"But I don't wanna be evil." Robin said, yawning. He was currently sitting at a table across from Luna, a day after he had met her. At _Joker's_ HQ. But whatever he had thought of the psycho before, actually didn't line up with what he was witnessing right then. The psychologically malformed man was making pancakes. And not just _any_ pancakes.

Pink pancakes. With _Mickey Mouse Ears._ Inconceivable.

"Well, if you don't want to be totally on the _evil-bad_ side, you can just be your own little anti-hero. Saving people on your own terms, outside the law, but not caring one bit." Luna responded dazedly.

"Anti-hero...? What do you mean?" The surprisingly-non-colorful boy asked. He frowned as a whistling Joker set plates in front of the three of them, full of steaming, yet still disturbing, pink Mickey Mouse pancakes.

"A main character in a book, play, movie, etc., who does not have the usual good qualities that are expected in a hero."

Robin stared. "Did you… did you look that up in a dictionary, just now?"

"I don't know what you're talking about." Luna said, not at all suspiciously shoving her iPad more into her orange jacket decorated with many-tailed foxes. Robin merely raised an eyebrow without further comment. They all turned to their food, the Joker humming Christmas carols merrily to himself.

Luna savagely stabbed her fork into the pancake on her plate, ripping a chocolate chip eye from Mickey Mouse's delicious eye socket. The way she ate the Disney character themed breakfast food deeply disturbed the bird themed sidekick.

Suddenly, The Joker stopped his humming and looked contemplative. The villain glanced around the room, apparently searching for something with his eyes. "I feel like there's something I'm forgetting…"

"You mean Angry Badger? She is with her friends and probably spying on peeps, or even possibly blowing stuff up. You never know with Angry Badger and friends." Luna responded, with a somewhat creepy smile on her face as she devoured Mickey Mouse's obnoxiously large ears.

"Huh. How did I not notice her absence whatsoever. Weird." Joker shrugged, uncaring. He was already used to Luna's nicknames for people she didn't really know, or cared enough about to have gotten to know.

"Maybe because she is super stalker-like and also a bit of a creeper." The blonde said as she licked her fork, her victim already disposed of. "But not the creepers that explode in those block games. The people-creepers who make the elderly sigh into their graves." She added, only clarifying for her own sanity's sake.

"Isn't the saying 'roll over in their graves', not-"

"No, Robin. Of course not. That would make sense, so I couldn't use it, because sometimes actually making sense is offensive to people. So it's best to not make any sense at all, and then people will love you. Because science. And politics." She patted the little boy's head in a patronizing way, ruffling his hair as he glared back, eyelid twitching.

* * *

"...What are we doing?" Robin asked from his perch behind a rather large raspberry bush. Luna simply shushed him, and kept on spying on random passersby through the branches of a blueberry bush beside him, her mouth and fingers colored blue from the nabbed fruit.

After swallowing another large bite of blueberries, which probably belonged to someone, Luna whispered as quietly as she could to the boy still dressed in an arrangement of black clothing. " _We_ are spying on potential targets to help _you_ see the good in becoming an anti-hero."

"But I don't want to be an anti-"

" _Shush!"_ Luna poked him in the cheek. "I found a target. Watch and learn, I'll show you how anti-heroes get it done." And before the far more sensible preteen could stop her, she leaped out of the bush and strolled into the street, ignoring the leaves stuck randomly throughout her frazzled hair.

Robin watched anxiously as she walked up to a Japanese man eating sushi seated at an outdoor table. The man was scribbling in an odd looking notebook with an apathetic expression. Luna stopped right in front of him and smiled at him, and he stared back without any interest showing in his eyes. Robin watched as the blonde witch continued to smile at the man, who was steadily growing more and more confused at the strange behavior, and disturbed that the odd blonde hadn't blinked in over two minutes.

Suddenly Luna lunged towards the table the man was seated at -which caused the Japanese man to strangely grab his notebook protectively- and she quickly grabbed the sushi. She cackled as she slam dunked the sushi on the ground, and declared in a loud yell, "FISH ARE FRIENDS, NOT FOOD!" The she left the gaping man behind as she cackled while running away before anyone could call the cops on her, or the men who give away the funny jackets to take her to the white, fluffy rooms.

Robin sighed as he watched her escape around the block, and picked some raspberries to munch on, leaning back with his eyes closed. He was sure that he'd never understand how her brain worked, but he wasn't certain that that was a bad thing. Maybe some things were just better if you didn't know what they were made out of, like honey. Yeah, honey was sweet. No reason to ruin the nice image by going into the technical aspects of everything.

Sometimes it was just nice to kickback, smell the roses and the chloroform… wait, what? Robin blinked his eyes open sluggishly, attempting to move away from the knock out gas, but found that he was no longer able to control his limbs.

The last thing he saw before losing consciousness was brilliant scarlet hair, and feminine giggles.

* * *

 _ **A.N.: I just realized how unnecessary that cliff hanger was. Oh well, drama makes the world go 'round.**_

 _ **Thank you so much to all my new and old followers and favorites! *golf claps* If any of you have any ideas for more funnies and giggle-toots, please send it in a nice review. I love feedback. I love it more than my pet rock, Balboa. I will try my best to incorporate every one of your ideas into this as I can, as long as they're not too infested by nargles.**_

 _ **I also love to infuse my chappies with references, 'cause they're snazzy.**_

 _ **Thank ya, my sis, for inspiring me to write this at 1:37AM, and thank you to God for helping me not to have died from a savage volleyball today.**_


	15. Waffle Ninja

_**Typing "with Luna's-" and the number one word suggestion on my phone was "special-needs". Ha.** I also do not own this. **Because the other two are unsophisticated and all their original writing ideas suck buckets. I will never understand you. So therefore, I hate you. ** Ahh...! Mommy and Daddy are fighting again!_

* * *

Luna ducked behind a hot dog stand, attempting to cover up her laughter. _Silly normal people, they are so cute,_ Luna thought with a grin. Until she suddenly frowned, and was accosted with the feeling that she had forgotten something. Possibly something that could be considered important.

She scrunched up her face in concentration, but her mind was stubbornly blank; like minds tend to be when you actually needed them, as opposed to when you were falling asleep with a need to get up early the next morning, and the mind transforms into a freaking troll. That goes trollicking through the crazy thoughts, and brings them all out of the dark box they are normally kept in; filling your tired brain with thoughts of waffle-puppies and cupcakes that change the sizes of rabbit-stalker girls. _And don't forget about the hedgehog-clubbing Queen of Hearts that would be frowned upon by the ASPCA…_ Luna slapped herself. She was getting off track.

Quickly growing frustrated with her temporary lack of attainable memories, Luna kicked a rock. Though, to be fair, she didn't think she would hit someone with the rock this time. It wasn't like these things happened outside of fiction, after all. So she really hadn't thought of the chances that she would hit another someone with a frustration-propelled rock. And what were the chances of Luna hitting this person straight on the head; like David, but this was no Goliath.

This was… she stared at the dazed, and familiar, darkly cloaked man. "Rottweiler-man!" She yelled out, startling the vigilante and causing him to jump onto his feet in a flash. But not a literal Flash, because that would be a different studio.

"Wha.. you again!" The man narrowed his eyes at her, before the angst orbs turned to quickly glance around, as if looking for something. Or someone. "I don't have time for this right now. I'm looking for.. well, I'm just immensely busy." He finished with a glare. That Luna ignored.

"Oh, good! I'm looking for something, too!" Luna turned around in a complete circle, staring at the sky the entire time. "Eh, I dunno what I'm looking for because I forgot, but I might remember if I help you look for what you lost, too." The blonde witch grinned. "The best way to find something that's been lost is to look for something completely different, innit?" Then Luna froze, and gasped. "My British is showing! No…" She sniffed, and then frowned. She stared at the costumed man in front of her again with newfound interest. "Rottweiler-man! What brings you here? Don't tell me it's waffles. Because those are my waffles. Not yours, mine. My own, my precious…"

The apparent 'Rottweiler-man' looked at the witch like she had the plague. No, that wasn't quite fair. He looked at her like she _was_ the plague. And the masked vigilante of Gotham made a strategic retreat, but one could never quite escape the insanity breeding within their very minds.

"What was I doing again?" Luna pinched the bridge of her nose. "Luring other questionably sane people to the dark side? No, that is a job I have any given day." The blonde continued to walk down the street. "What was I doing here in the _first_ place?" She paused. "Apprentice! Right, I was showing the kid how to be _so rad._ What was his name? Sparrow? Red-breasted Woodpecker? Oh, I know! _Robin!"_

Luna pumped a fist in the air in victorious exclamation. "Now where has he gotten off to?" She said, scratching her head in careless confusion. "And he better not have my waffles when I find him."

* * *

Robin groaned as he regained consciousness from a coerced doze. His head hurt. Like a million pins and needles were stabbing his brain to death. He tried to move, but felt the cold metal of chains around his wrists. Robin sighed. _Right, captured. Forgot about that._

"-no! I don't want pancakes, I want waffles, because what is the point of eating pancakes without actual, authentic maple syrup?" An angry voice shrieked.

Robin winced, his headache apparently was a hater of loud, obnoxious noises. But after he blinked, he finally saw the instigator of this whole debacle walk through the doorway to where he was being held as an unwilling guest. It was Harley Quinn, the Lady of Insanity herself. And also fanatic stalker of The Joker. Which was totally creepy, by the way. Mighty unsettling.

"Why can't we just have bacon? I, for one, love bacon." Said a new voice, through a yawn. Robin turned to see the lazy form of Catwoman slink into the room as well. And she -unlike Quinn- noticed that the boy was awake. "Ohayōgozaimasu, Sleeping Beauty."

Harley Quinn spun around, and stared at Robin. "Oh, yeah, we kidnapped him, didn't we?" She scratched her head, and then blinked in realization; smirking at nothing in particular. "With Luna's apprentice within our clutches…"

"Everything we planted will bloom into glory." A smug voice finished. Robin turned his head to spy the third woman, and chills went down his spine as he placed the red hair and green dress of Poison Ivy, a super villainess that gave trouble to _Batman._ Boy, was he in trouble now.

"And I just want bacon. But is anyone gonna make me bacon? _No._ Because you are all turds." Selina Kyle grumped, and the homicide of the briefly lived terrorizing aura almost made Robin want to laugh. Maybe he wasn't going to die here, after all.

* * *

Selina was once again being involuntarily volunteered for tribute. This time for the terrible chore that is cooking. She hates cooking. But she was told she had to do it or Harley was going to cook. And Harley can't even boil water. Well, she can; It just catches on fire.

So Selina found herself stirring up batter, and heating up the waffle iron. She didn't even care for waffles. But if she was doing the cooking, then she could at least make sure no one burned the precious bacon with a Death-Ray. Again. Because bacon is lovely and the best thing ever. But not like those unsophisticated _ham-slices_ called 'Canadian Bacon' because that defied all laws and traditions of true bacon-kind.

She would choose a plateful of bacon over waffles or pancakes any day. _Take that, vegetarians! The flesh of pigs is the flesh of victory. We are superior and spiffy- wait, what,_ the woman who was known as Catwoman thought, shaking her head as she poured batter into a steaming thingy. "Perhaps I am spending way too much time around loosely sane people." She muttered to herself.

"Ooh, waffles? You really made them! I had kinda thought for a moment you had just left." Quinn says through a huge grin, walking on her hands as she crossed the room.

Like Selina would just leave when there was a kid in trouble here. She was no hero, but she knew Robin. So she wasn't going to leave him with people who would do anything to get what they wanted and didn't care if someone was just a kid.

"Where's Ivy?" _How's the kid?_ Is what she really wanted to say. But that would put her in too much suspicion for any of her still-forming plans to whisk away the boy without being caught. Getting on the bad side of a notorious criminal was one thing, but poking the eye of a super villainess? Just plain suicidal.

"She's just making sure our resident little guy is cozy. Poison' will be over here in a jiffy, no worry!" Quinn tumbled in a double back-flip, before righting herself just as she reached the table now laden with waffles. "Hurry and gimme those breakfast stuffies before she gets in here, or they'll be nothing left!"

Selina rolled her eyes as she handed the insane woman a plate. "Help yourself, I'm not your housekeeper."

"Oh, and could you get some whip cream outta the fridge?"

"Not your housekeeper!"

"Hag." Harley murmured quietly.

"I heard that."

Quinn became very silent after that, and was determinedly stuffing her face with waffles; not looking Selina in the eyes. The cat-burglar was reminded of a pouting child.

Suddenly there was a crash, and Selina dived behind the counter-top to avoid the flying splinters from a destroyed wooden door.

"You!" She heard the muffled yell of a furious Harley Quinn.

"Angry Badger! I should have known that you were behind this dastardly deed of… badness." A new voice added. Selina knew that voice, but she peeked around the edge of the kitchen counter to make sure.

There was no mistaking that glazed-eyed look. And that blonde hair…

"Luna Lovegood is here to save her apprentice! And if I have to compete in a triathlon through lava, I'll gladly- wait. What is that you are eating?" Luna said in a cheerfully bland tone that sent off warning bells inside of Catwoman's head.

"Um, waffles?" Harley Quinn said in an irritated voice. "What else could they be, ya witch."

Luna glared fiercely at Quinn, and Selina seriously doubted that the fanatic was going to make it out of this one in one piece.

The room grew cold as Luna spoke in a precise, insanely cheerful tone, the blonde's eyes seeming to crackle with energy. "You are not worthy of the splendor of waffles."

And Selina ducked behind the counter again as the blast rocked the house's foundations.

* * *

 ** _A.N.: I am sorry that I neglected this and my other stories. I hope that you like it, anyway. ;)_**


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